Willie Wastle

Willie Wastle

Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,

The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie.

Willie was a wabster guid

Could stown a clue wi onie body.

He had a wife was dour and din,

O, Tinkler Maidgie was her mither!

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wad na gie a button for her.

She has an e'e (she has but ane),

The cat has twa the very colour,

Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,

A clapper-tongue wad deave a miller;

A whiskin beard about her mou,

Her nose and chin they threaten ither:

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wad na gie a button for her

She's bow-hough'd, she's hem-shin'd,

Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;

She's twisted right, she's twisted left,

To balance fair in ilka quarter;

She has a hump upon her breast,

The twin o that upon her shouther:

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wad na gie a button for her.

Auld baudrans by the ingle sits,

An wi her loof her face a-washin;

But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,

She dights her frunzie wi a hushion;

Her walie nieves like midden-creels,

Her face wad fyle the Logan Water:

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wad na gie a button for her.